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Additional info for A Way in the World: A Novel
At home, my dad's probably asleep by now. When my mom goes out of a day, he sits down in front of the television and passes right out. Sometimes he stays like that all day. When she gets home from work, it wakes him up. One time he left a tap on for six hours and the kitchen flooded. It's hard trying to work out exactly what it is that's made him end up like this. I think he thinks if he stays asleep long enough, whatever has happened will all bleed away. I think it's the same thing he thinks about when he stands in the garden and smokes all his cigarettes and looks up at the sky.
Some people know more dead people than their friends do. That'd change things. I'm not too worried about being sad because I doubt if I will be but I am worried about things feeling too much. I don't know who is going to be there apart from Luke and Emma and Luke's aunt. I'd not thought about that until now, the guest list. I don't think I know anyone else who would go. Hopefully after the funeral Luke will want a break so we can go somewhere else and get stoned and pretend that his dad isn't dead and we can be stupid and Emma can hug Luke and me and I can pretend that we're all in love with each other, in the way that I've always wanted.
There's a feeling that I want, but I can't put it into words. My mother says something about Luke and I think about his dad and I agree. There's no point not to. For a second I think she wants to come to the funeral and I panic more than I thought I would, which surprises me. I misheard her. She's not coming to the funeral. I wasn't properly listening. 45 People must think about funerals in different ways. Some people know more dead people than their friends do. That'd change things. I'm not too worried about being sad because I doubt if I will be but I am worried about things feeling too much.